Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Things seems to hav some changes.My jie and her bf are getting along well nw(well..I guess tat's nt a bad thing). Bt, me and him seems to hav some problem.The prob lies within us. I oso dunno where's the prob, and he oso dunno wat's the prob. Bt we seems to hav no topic.When we are tgt, we are juz tgt, as in beside each other.And our heart are lik thr is distance.I have something on my mind for his b'dae since wks before,bt his b'dae was on dec,it's still long.I wan to giv him the surprise he nv had.Bt,will we still be tgt by then?I dunno.Ytd, we had some chat, sort of talk things out.I told him abt I feel we aren't lik other loving couples so lovey dovey.And he say becos I dun lik him to be childish, so he can't do some thing/action to make me happy, and I told him tat is nt the issue.I say he dun understand me,he disagree.And we went down to void deck.Didn't talk,so I asked him to go home as it was late and we are both working tomoro.He ask me to go home first, he is going to sit thr for awhile.So I went of furiously.He catch up wif me and I ignored him.He send me up the lift and I went off without caring him.When the lift close, he was hitting the lift and punching the lift(i can hear the loud banging noise).So I went down to look for him abt 5 mins lata.I texted him and he finally tell me he is still at nearby my hse.Sitting at one place alone.So we talked.I dunno if it helps. I dunno if things will worked out.I onli noe it's nt easy to be in a real relationship(as in you will go through future tgt).I dun lik to tink abt the future of me and him,cos whenever I started to tink,I will afraid tat my tinking might cost me.Bt I am nt running away.I am juz waiting for the right time tat my fate giv me the ans of my future.I noe future is in ur own hand, bt I believe tat the future tat u created by ur own hand might oso be a part of fate.Alot of ques in my mind.Once,I thought I am very clear wif wat I wan and I will be rational in rs. Bt when it comes, thr's really alot to tink.My emotional beats my rational.And it's nt juz abt urself.It's abt each other.This question is always on my mind,am I requesting too much,or he is nt gd enough?At times, I can see he selfishness,lik paying for bill etc., he always tink he giv alot,and I dunno and dun understand,isn't tat wat a bf shld do.Why it become "help me to pay"?Bt sometimes he really show me his sincere.I dunno isit he dunno hw to express himself or sometime else.I would wan to read him lik a book,so I can decide to stay or leave him.As nw,I am really confused by his action,hot and cold,gd and bad,nice and nt.I dunno.




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
3:18 PM