Friday, October 24, 2008
Bro went back to his academy tis morning to prepared for his grad ceremony tonite,went to hav mac breakfast wif mum,sis and bro tis morning,as bro hav to reach thr by 8am,so we hav breakfast very early..mum said wanna buy me a laptop bt i nt sure the purpose of me buying,bt..still..hav one personal com is better bah,i am so tired,hav i change alot?I slowly feel tat i hav,nt nw then change,is the day i step into the new sch,bt i didn't realise it,until i was been told by quite some ppl,i used to despise at ppl who hurt themselves,bt i seem to be slapping my own face nw,cos i been hurting myself when i was sad,bt i dun wan,i did tat becos i dun wan to cry,bt tat can onli stop me crying,my tears will still drop,mum been saying bro hurt,bt isit really bro hurt the most?Hw abt herself?Me?Sis?Bro didn't get to see dad last before dad coma,bt we get to see..the situation,the place,the feeling of us,will it be lesser?Or we shld feel more worst?Cos we seeing dad on the floor and at tat moment,we juz starring and calling him bt we can't do anything,and i am fucking idiot to say tis to dad,"dad,stop forcing urself,wait for ambulance to come,dun make us worry",if i noe..ambulance is juz nth,i will let dad try,try to stand up on his own,i still rmb the way he looking at me,lik telling me,"yiling,let me try,if nt i might nt be able to stand anymore",dad..i really really miss u,dad..i miss u to death lerHx,whr r u?Hw could a person death and we dun see him anymore,why is heaven so cruel?Ppl say god saves ppls,help ppls,bt did anyone realise,he kill ppl too..i noe,a person shld die in order for the next one to born,bt why he dun let everyone die when he hav gt everything in the world,he had enjoy enough in the world?Why sumbody die without enjoying?Sum more worst,didn't born jiu die lerHx,wat is tis?I really feel lik becoming a person tat been slacking,doing wat i wanna do,bt can i?Do i hav the effort to do it?Then i will become a gd for nth,i will become useless..is tat wat i wan?No,i dun wan..bt i noe nth nw,i dun even noe wat is my ambition,i dun even noe wat i lik to do?I onli noe,wish dun comes true,so i dun wanna tink much,i might be blogging again tonite abt bro grad ceremony,if i nv post mean nv post,if gt post then will be at blog kris2,tat's all..enjoy my boring post.




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
10:26 AM