Monday, September 29, 2008
Nw quite near to sch reopen lerHx,really hope tat holiday can be longer,though most of the time is spended at home and slack bt..it's better than slack at sch,still hav a project undone,cos i am nt sure wat to be done and dun hav the interest to go and do it,went to tiong bahru again today,mum said...if dad is around tat will be great,then we can ask him to bring us thr,yea..if dad is around,bt..he is no longer around?Another world,hw is it look lik?The same as mortal world?Dunno..home dun hav dad is so quiet,and no fun..watching dvd will make me laugh,bt after watching still..haix,abt 1 mth lerHx bah?Sometimes will imagine dad is around bt until nite still nv saw him will start to tink,lik sat nite..dunno why,suddenly..temper become very bad,frustrated easily and when bro,sis was at living rm watching tv,mum and me was at the rm gg to slp,i miss dad alot,i feel lik i am very idiot,started to cry,wanna bang the wall bt it juz so stupid,mum asked me wat happen bt i juz ignore and fall aslp,next morning juz pretend nth happen,and yea..at tis time say anything oso no use lerHx,i hate it when i heard ppl saying "if yrs ago,ur dad listen to me,tis things wun happen",oh pls..i am very sure if dad noe tis would happen,he will listen even if he doesn't wan to,bt who noe tat tis things will happen?Nobody,if i noe tis thing will happen,i wun argue with dad tat nite abt sumthing he told me,i wun slp so early,i will say to him "dad,we love u" until he tink tat i am very fan,i will nv let him take the dumb-bell,till nw,still dunno why he will sudden fall,isit becos the dumb-bell too heavy?Tat nite,he take the dumb-bell to exercise his hand,cos he can't take up his hand,dunno why,his hand always very pain,and becos he wanna recovery faster,he keep taking up his hand and exercise,and he hope to recover faster,the pain...really hurt our heart,with no medical education,we can onli sit aside and watch,hw pain he was..and until the day at hospital,doctor say tat taking heavy things might be one of the cause tat he will become lik tis today,was it becos of tat dumb-bell?Tat day when dad was fall on the floor,looking at him struggling to get up,my mind was all blank,i couldn't stand properly and i sit at the bed,wishing he could get up,too late..tat's all too late.

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I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
7:33 PM


Wednesday, September 24, 2008
It's holiday nw,finally..all these days been staying at home and watch dvd wif sis,quan came my hse today,he was juz back frm malaysia,he look at my dad photos and he still thought tat dad went to work haven come back,tell him dad went heaven lerHx then when he take joss stick to pray my dad still tink tat he will appear after we pray him,lol..indeed a kid,dunno act blur or wat xD,tired..really..every morning help dad to done the job he been doing when he was at home lik water the plants,pray joss sticks,i am really tired and lazy to do sumtimes,everytime i doing all these job,my mind tink tat one day i wun hav to do it anymore,dad will be back,when he's back,he will do it..wat am i tinking,dad wun be back..he has already gone to another world waiting for us to meet him thr one day...am i rite dad?And i am clueless wat dad hav been doing thr nw,heard uncles they all say tat a person do wat job when they was alive,they will be doing it at another world when they was dead?Abit ridiculous uh?Bt i oso dunno..many things said by many ppls bt i onli choose to believe the master tat do the things for my dad,cos at least he study all these before..why i dunno all these things?Quite curious to noe more abt it bt...all hear ppls say oso dunno which is true and which is fake,dad...everyone will be thr one day,u muz rmb us uh,take care uh..we love u




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
6:08 PM


Thursday, September 18, 2008
Yesterday didn't went sch,rather go malaysia wif mum,sis,grandma,uncles and sis friend..was quite fun at thr,cos once we reach thr,we went to one of my aunt hse tat lived in pontian,then went out to hav bak kut teh as lunch..and we went shop shop after tat,buy many things,lol...then went to hav chendol,wasn't as nice as i hav it last time lerHx,then went to aunt hse again,chatted awhile and went to hav wanton noodles,i drink the soup,and wasn't in a gd mood as i tink of dad again,then okies..at least didn't cry out much,went to aunt hse again and awhile lata,ready to went back sg,slping while on the way...while uncle stop at the places to add oil in the car,mum,sis me and sis friend went to the shop thr to buy chocolates and ice-cream..pass by custom and reach sg lerHx,went PM to buy foods for dad and went home serve the foods to pray dad..hope he really gt eat uh,haix..then we watch cds..sis friend oso at our hse,watch till 10 sumthing bah?If nt wrong,then chatted awhile,sis friend went home and we went to slp,today..actually wanna pon sch to go malaysia again wif mum and sis bt i didn't as gt test uh,sianz..then break lerHx,went to hav lunch wif liling and she seem sad,after lunch she went to class lerHx and i went stadium awhile as nobody thr,which suitable for my current mood the most,sit thr and calm down,of cos dad appear in my mind again..then for awhile and went to find dennis,and we went coop shop and i buy swts then walking back to class..play psp frm dennis and return to him and surf net,teacher dismiss at 3pm sumthing and reach home at around 5pm,eat dinner and watch cds again..bt feel lik blogging so start to blog,tat's all for today bah,dad..we miss u...




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
8:47 PM


Thursday, September 11, 2008
Since dad left,i haven hav a gd slp,always waked up during the midnite..and can't get into slp anymore,2 wks since dad left us..we r still crying when we tink of him,it hard nt to tink of cos,everywhr has his shadow..even my sch,he often drive me home frm sch,and wks ago before tis incident happen,dad still drive mum,sis and me to changi airport to hav popeye as lunch,bro in ns so nv went,even i saw an aeroplane flew by,i can oso tink of u dad,cos rmb we promised u and mum to bring u all overseas when we earn many many money?Bt it's a pity u left so early,dad..why i heard ppl say their relative or whosoever dead,will let them drm,will hav butterfly,dragonfly fly into their hse to find them bt why till nw i still haven saw one?Only gt one beetle at my head and i am nt sure was it u?And a drm oso nt sure is i tink too much or is u let me drm derHx..tis morning waked at 6am,mum was crying,by looking at her i can't do anything,i cry tgt wif her,so does sis,everyone of us wasn't feeling gd,onli nv tink of u i can smile,bt when u appear in my mind,i will start to tink of..i can't talk to u anymore,can't see u anymore,can't hug u anymore,can't jk wif u anymore,can't argue wif u anymore,can't shopping wif u anymore,can't be able to go out as a family anymore,a family without a father is really very insecure,cos dad..u always protect us no matter hw tired u r..dad..tink of hw tired u r when u was back frm work,and u can still wear a smile on ur face,its really makes me heartache..dad,i am so scare nw..cos i wun be able to see u anymore,i noe mum,bro,sis oso feel tat,cos every happiest memories we had is tgt as a family,the video bro and me took "way to suki",i hav been watching it over and over,i am so regret why i didn't took it longer,the last things u said on the video is "walk larHx,take take take",and i said "nt i wan take derHx leh",and i return it to kor and stop video,if i can take longer,hw great it will be...dad,looking at ur photos then realise the change u hav,u really look pale,maybe...nw the onli console words i can say is maybe..it's better to let u go,so u wun suffer anymore,u can be freedom,no more burden,no more medicine,u can eat anything u lik nw,u hav big hse and big car nw,u hav many money nw,bt dad...pls..dun forget us,we love u...




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
7:30 PM


Sunday, September 07, 2008
DAD, WE MISS U ALOTS!!!!!
爸爸, 我们很想你!!!!!




I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
10:49 AM


Monday, September 01, 2008
My dad funeral was juz done ytd,and tis things happened to my dad due to a medicine he took giv by a doctor,if wasn't his blood too diluted and juz lik the water easily flow through his brain,tis things will nt happen,i still hav so many things haven do,i still haven earn money,bring u oversea,bring u to star cruise,u still haven see us grow up,earn money,hav a stable job,we haven gt the time to filial u..and u so fast go and find ah gong they all,all tis days staying at the funeral,nt a single day i wun drop my tears,it tough to accept the fact,sometimes at thr,i feel lik my tears is dry,i feel lik it's a drm..lik when everything over,dad will be back wif us..bt after sun,i totally noe..it wasn't a drm,i need someone to let me cry infront of,i cannot cry out loud infront of my mum,bro and sis..cos they r so sad as well..they r holding their tears too..bt i couldn't control,so i am trying my very hard to control until i saw them cry,then i cry tgt wif them,at the few days,i feel loneliness,nt becos my family wasn't thr for me,bt is tat everynight,my uncles,aunties came,they acc my mum,my bro friends came,they acc my bro,my sis friends came,they acc my sis,and me?I hav no one to talk to,i walking around and i went to talk to dad then i go sit beside mum,i wanna cry out bt i find no one,yes..my friends gt come,bt first day they come,they juz keep quiet starring at me,i find tat i couldn't say out my feeling easily infront of them,another day..i was surprisingly they came,bt..onli two of them and others was last yr classmates,they came and they left awhile lata..and the same they juz walk away,i did say cannot say bye when left,bt i nv say cannot talk to me when they r gg off..dad,u r right..i shldn't judge so quickily who r gd and who r bad,onli judge the person at the time u need a person most,if they r thr for u,they r the one u can say they r gd..both my bro and sis friend came all the four days,they send my dad the last journey,they stay till very late to acc them,bt i can onli walk to the carpark and tink back the time dad drive me to sch till sis notice me,bt at least thr r one friend who came at tat night,bt i was too tired to entertain so i leave it to bro as my bro noe him as well and then i went inside and i slp tgt wif mum...dad,whr r u?I really miss u alot..hav u really received everything we giv u?R u happy at thr?Will u still miss us and stay around us?Dad,r u as sad as us?U leave us so suddenly...all of us can't accept tis fact..i am so hurt whenever i noe u wun be able to go out wif us as a family anymore..dad,u r a noble dad,we love u lots..u muz rmb to come and let us drm of u,especially mum,she misses u alots..dad,u muz take care...we will take care of mum and ourselves,we will be gd,we will miss u,u will always be in our heart,every memories of u..bt i am sad,without u..nobody thr to send me to take train,nobody jokes wif me,nobody fetch me home frm sch,i wan to stop crying,bt whenever u appear in my mind,the smile u always hang on ur face and the way u look at me tat night when tat worst things happened to u,my tears drop...i am hurt to see mum cry as well...bt i shldn't stop her,if nt she dare nt cry infront of me,i shld console her and let her noe we will be thr for her,all of us r juz hanging a smile outside bt yet we r crying inside..dad..we love u forever...dun worry,i wun hang out wif friends anymore,cos i noe..u giv me a task,tat is stay at home to take care and acc mum whenever she needs,nw..onli us noe the feeling she is having,anw...dad,always rmb,although u r in the different world as us,u will always be our dad...

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I am tired and lazy to carry on everything nw...
10:01 PM