Sunday, September 14, 2014
I thought you loved me, I thought you won't hurt me, I am wrong. The person who told me he love me the most is the one who hurt me the most. You say you won't spend any money on game, you know i told you not to and you promised you won't, yet you do it. You spent $128+ on game, I found the evident on your email, you nv admit, you deny, you tell me is your bro borrow from you, use your account to buy, I asked for evident that your bro asked you to buy, you twist the word, ask me what if is you buy one, what will I do? I told you I will break up with you, you tell me is your bro and you shared money buy tgt one. You have changed, totally changed. No wonder, so many adults advise me to see properly, telling me you may not be the one. I angry, I ignored their advise, I chose to be with you, becos I trust u, I thought u really care about me, I thought u will think twice before doing something that hurt me, tell me...how am I gonna believe you from now on? How do you want me to regain the trust? I am scared already..I have no confident in our rs anymore, now is just waiting for time to break. Cos it's too sudden. I believe we will slowly go faded.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
12:01 PM
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Things seems to hav some changes.My jie and her bf are getting along well nw(well..I guess tat's nt a bad thing). Bt, me and him seems to hav some problem.The prob lies within us. I oso dunno where's the prob, and he oso dunno wat's the prob. Bt we seems to hav no topic.When we are tgt, we are juz tgt, as in beside each other.And our heart are lik thr is distance.I have something on my mind for his b'dae since wks before,bt his b'dae was on dec,it's still long.I wan to giv him the surprise he nv had.Bt,will we still be tgt by then?I dunno.Ytd, we had some chat, sort of talk things out.I told him abt I feel we aren't lik other loving couples so lovey dovey.And he say becos I dun lik him to be childish, so he can't do some thing/action to make me happy, and I told him tat is nt the issue.I say he dun understand me,he disagree.And we went down to void deck.Didn't talk,so I asked him to go home as it was late and we are both working tomoro.He ask me to go home first, he is going to sit thr for awhile.So I went of furiously.He catch up wif me and I ignored him.He send me up the lift and I went off without caring him.When the lift close, he was hitting the lift and punching the lift(i can hear the loud banging noise).So I went down to look for him abt 5 mins lata.I texted him and he finally tell me he is still at nearby my hse.Sitting at one place alone.So we talked.I dunno if it helps. I dunno if things will worked out.I onli noe it's nt easy to be in a real relationship(as in you will go through future tgt).I dun lik to tink abt the future of me and him,cos whenever I started to tink,I will afraid tat my tinking might cost me.Bt I am nt running away.I am juz waiting for the right time tat my fate giv me the ans of my future.I noe future is in ur own hand, bt I believe tat the future tat u created by ur own hand might oso be a part of fate.Alot of ques in my mind.Once,I thought I am very clear wif wat I wan and I will be rational in rs. Bt when it comes, thr's really alot to tink.My emotional beats my rational.And it's nt juz abt urself.It's abt each other.This question is always on my mind,am I requesting too much,or he is nt gd enough?At times, I can see he selfishness,lik paying for bill etc., he always tink he giv alot,and I dunno and dun understand,isn't tat wat a bf shld do.Why it become "help me to pay"?Bt sometimes he really show me his sincere.I dunno isit he dunno hw to express himself or sometime else.I would wan to read him lik a book,so I can decide to stay or leave him.As nw,I am really confused by his action,hot and cold,gd and bad,nice and nt.I dunno.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
3:18 PM
Thursday, February 14, 2013
It had been really long since I last write a blogger post. I guess I hav learnt to grow up these few mths. By all the obstacles around me. And I met a guy who has been by my side, tolerate my stubborn and all. I knew him in the company, actually it takes sometime for us to be close friend, and we are still not in a relationship yet, I guess? Haha. I get confused by our current relationship too. I am just too afraid to be hurt again. Bt my selfishness did not let him giv up, I am not sure hw long it will last, bt as for nw, he really nv giv up on wat is promised. And tat's wat makes me tink he's special. We are both not sure if we are the right one for each other, bt we giv our time to each other lik we are already into a relationship(tat's wat makes my mum laughed at me when I told her we are still not in a relationship). LOL. But recently, this guy no. 2 whom suddenly came back to contact me after he MIA for so long, he makes my feeling shake again. Nw, I really dunno wat I am tinking. I wan to treasure the guy who's treating me so well, I wan to keep my promise to him. The 1 yr promise. Bt nw, I am confused. Whenever I am wif him, his caring words to me become irritating. I really dunno why it turned tis way. I really feel so sorry. But I dunno whr's the prob. Is it he do nt enough or I expected too much? I often felt that he doesn't understand me at all. He dunno wat I wan and expecting from him. I made it clear to him, bt he still dun get it at times. In tis case, I am juz afraid if one day we are together, we might not get along so well. I dun wan words, I wan proof. Well..anw he is the first guy which I bring home and first guy that I celebrated my Valentine's day wif. Today is Valentine's day, and tonite I am gg to MBS- The Chocolate Bar to enjoy chocolate buffet wif him. I hope it's a enjoyable one. I am expecting something from him. Hope he won't disappoint me this time. My gift for him is home-made cookies, HAHA. I hope it can be swallow =X. Everyone's in the world, Happy Valentine's Day!
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
10:33 AM
Friday, May 25, 2012
It's really a sad day.Things still happened.Our comrade,our leader,our guilding light,our boss..he had been terminated.It's seriously the co. loss.Throughout everything we had gone through tgt,i truly understand that the warehouse hav this kind of poor result it's not becos of him,it's becos of the whole faclity and the way they execute thing.Lik so wtf,juz take this as an examples,juz fired my boss without any advance notices,so who is going to be our next boss and who are we going to report to?Nobody noe,no ideas at all.Ridiculous rite?I am prepared to leave tis co. anytime,i noe i might be impulsive,but as long as i really cannot take it,i really dun wanna force myself into tis shit anymore,i am so worried hw tis coming monday going to be,i am so so so afraid,hw?Tell me hw?Who is going to take care of us?Lead the team,help the team,motivate the team,in the understanding ways.Who can we find when we need help?Who can we find when someone bullied us?Who can be our shelter,be our mountain in future?Rmb last time,the old boss treat us so well tat when you came,we seriously dislik u,we dislik u wan us to work OT,we dislik u wan us to work till so late,we dislik u wan us to do tis do tat.Bt,no more,no more ben & jerry,the ice-cream that builds our relationship closer,no more yami yogurt,no more fries,no more go out for lunch,no more enter boss room in and out lik no laws,no more talking to boss lik talking to a friend,no more listening ear,no more temperamental,no more freedom in the co.,we lost everything.We lost the battle.We tried,but we failed.We had been fighting tgt since the first day u enter tis co.,rmb we always say things will get better,let's wait,let's hold on.But,things didn't get better,things didn't work out the way we wan it to be.We lose to the politic,we lose to those unreasonable barbarian.Da ye lang,wolf...we lose :(.I am awaiting,awaiting our next plan to arrive soon.Pls make tat day happened,we are all waiting for ur gd news.I am looking forward if tat day really came.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
8:00 PM
Monday, May 14, 2012
我也好可望有人这样爱我，我也会可望这样的被爱啊。可是，我就是没希望。总是被伤害，一再的被伤害。却要自己面对自己承受。所以，我真的会害怕了。
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
9:09 PM
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
My feeling towards you finally become faded,each day by each day.And nw,you are juz my colleague,someone who was once close wif me.That's it.Today,i heard the news abt you,you actually went back to lead tat stupid life cos of her,do you noe i feel hw stupid you are?Do you noe hw disappointed i am wif you after hearing tat news?Hw can you treat the one who cares for you so cruel?Hw old are you already and why still dunno hw to tink?I have no rights to reprimand you.I am juz nobody to you.After noeing you had a breakup wif her again,all i tink is you better dun come back to me,cos even if you do,i won't giv a damn abt you.So i have no rights to blame you rather gg back to tat life and didn't come back to me.Anw,i am nw busy noticing him,and nt you anymore.I juz pity you,pity the person who cares,who lov you.Cos you disappointed them,you stabbed them damn hard.You are no longer tat proud guy who had once chatted wif me,concern me,lecture me and console me.She turned you back to devil,back to the selfish guy,since the day you chose to go back to her.If,if that nite,i am nt at my friends hse,i am at home,will you nt hang up the phone and continue to chat wif me,and tell me wat you actually wanna tell me?Isit that nite changed everything?Or that call actually meant to be nth?It wun make any changes to anything happened today even if we have chatted?I dunno,it's over,anw..it's already over.Take care.And,stop before it's late.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
7:39 PM
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Seriously,I hav no idea wat is the feeling towards you nw.Feel alittle disgusted by you at times.Are you back to her or you are actually wif someone else?Why can u act so normally?Wat are the past few mths all abt?Tat nite tat call,wat isit abt?No explanation,no gdbye,it started without a starting point,so it end without ending point too?U are juz borrowed to me for a few mths by her and she take u back?Bt if she nv take u back,are we possible to be tgt?I dunno.Hai.I really dunno wat's wrong wif my sis,i really hate tat she knew abt the ten yrs,it's a scar ever since 4 yrs ago,instead of healing it for me,instead of talking to me nicely,instead of cheering me,she is adding salt onto this scar,keep bringing it up and all i heard is sarcasm.She juz dunno hw it hurts.I dun feel proud waiting for ten yrs,i dun wait willingly for ten yrs bt time juz passes throughout the waiting,and do u tink its funny?Yea,i am dumb,stupid,tat's why I keeps on repeating the same old mistake,staying in the boundary and nv step out of it.Why wrong wif me?Do I look ugly?Do I hav any sickness?Do I make any mistake?I dun deserve any nice guy?Is my expectation high?Hw high?I hav nv expect anything frm anyone.I juz expect somebody who compatible with me,too much?Or shld juz go for an old uncle,an indian/malay,a bad guy,ah beng then is call low expectation?
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
10:58 PM
