Thursday, February 24, 2011
Today...was a sad day,cos thr was a sad news,argh.........i thought everything will be fine,as time pass,things will get more smooth,bt..it doesn't seems to be tat way.One uncle in the co.,i always call him uncle guang,his job is to receive delivery item and giv the document to me,for me to do receiving,and we work very well.Bt...things changed,he has been fired,i dun really noe the main reason,gt ppl say tat his boss(agent) swap him to another co.,gt ppl say he offend my boss,oso gt ppl say he offend the big boss during cny celebration in the co. by hitting the table for fun.Either reason i oso can't accept it,it's all damn ridiculous,he work so hard and being so efficient bt juz becos of the lame reason and he hav to left the co.,worst is nobody can replace wat he is doing,cos nobody is as fast as he can be,first is my working partner,then is tis uncle,wat's next?Everyone related to my surrounding all left,so why am i still thr?I really dunno,damn..today work OT again,OT isn't a matter,bt..my baobei xixi(kid that mum babysit) will be going to childcare soon,and i wan treasure this few more days to dote on her,bt if i work for OT,then i will hav no chance to play wif her.The agent call me today,told me a "good" news,he say it is,then it is lo,bt..to me,i am nt very happy to noe tat the co. wan to convert me to perm staff,do i really wan?HAHA!I dunno -.-.I onli noe i am getting tired,each and everyday,i thought i wun tink of leaving the co. anymore,bt...i really wan to noe yes/no.Which decision is better?
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
9:51 PM
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
No matter wat,i am still a human onli,at the very stress point of time..i will still tink of banging wall,stop my breathe,being a superwoman,use a knife to end my life,all sorts of stupid thing,yes...stupid thing,cos nw i am still okie..i am still at clear minded,tat makes me tink it was stupid,bt...when all the pressure come to me out of sudden,all those stupid thing makes me feel better after doing it,bt...doing it did nt really solve my prob,and it make me feel more worst after my clear mind come back,cos i will tink,wat did i done to myself,wat stupid stuff did i do.Thr was once when i am 17,i did tat stupid thing,ended up all my loves one found out,and tat make them feel worried for me,and i regretted,especially my dad..he bought a so called "amulet" for me.He wan me safe,and..i told him,i already hav it,juz nt using,bt...i still take it,and hang it on my phone,till nw..it's still on tat phone.Everytime working,the place tat wait for the co. bus,remind me of the days when dad call me and ask me whr am i,then drive me home frm thr,when it rains, it remind me of if dad is still around,he will come and drive me home,though maybe if dad is around,i wun be working,might still be studying or wat,i dunno.Bt...nw,nth can change.Nth will change the fact of wat past hav been.I really miss hw my life used to be,the life tat whenever i am back home frm sch,dad and mum was around..the baby tat mum babysit was cute,and bro and sis was back awhile lata,we had dinner tgt.Sun,we went out tgt,we chat tgt,talking the same topic tgt,lik so long ago,tat kind of happiness seems to hav gone further and further.Sometimes,i keep tinking,tink and tink...wat can i do to hav back all,i would even wan to use my life to change tat few hrs of happiness.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
7:10 PM
Monday, February 07, 2011
Holiday pass really fast,and today..i hav to start work again.So tired.Mentally,physically.I dun understand why,no matter hw caution i am,still..i will make mistake,today..same thing happen,bt..i am wondering,isit really my fault when tis error happened?Seriously...i dunno,and it's onli the first day after cny and tis thing happen,zen me ban?Been tinking,i will quit after 3 mths,bt...i hav hesitated too.Tis is an opportunity for me to learn and earn money bt..i dun lik.Wat if i quit and find other's job?Who can say tat i will surely find a job better than tis?Maybe worst?2 persons frm the company was telling me tat tis job is an gd opportunity for me to learn,and grow,and gain experiences.If i find other's job,will i feel so "tired" too?Isit becos of tis job or every job will be the same?I seem to make alots of mistake,why...i need the previous guy to be around to teach and lead me,i dun wan tis new gal tat i hav to teach her and lead her while i,myself haven really gt a pict of hw everything was functioning.Nt easy u noe?Left side,right side,infront,behind,all need to be done by u alone and yet all hav to be very caution,no error can be done.I feel lik to cry out loud when i need to,bt..the location is nt rite,bt when thr's a location for me to do so,i dun feel lik crying anymore,so whr did those feeling goes to?LOL.
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
10:10 PM
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Today is the eve of Chinese New Year eve.And is the day u are nt coming back and i hav to count on myself in the co.,morning and thr's prob -.-,firstly...thr's one document tat i hav done gr when i juz enter the co. nt long ago,bt...the qty was gr wrongly due to the document was nt clear,and today...the prob came to me,and yea...tat was a lesson to learn,after tat...uncle guang wanna find document for the long box u told me ytd,bt...ytd was too busy and i hav somehw forget wat u told me,bt i still rmb u tell me u hav giv it to our boss bt he said dun hav.So..tat's hw i get ur contact no. and call u using co. phone asking u abt the document,and...i am missing the days wif u around.Thr's a new gal came today,reminded me of the first day when i juz enter the co.,when the gal tat hav taught u,ask u to taught me wif hw the things operate,at tat moment,i was tinking..if in future,thr's new ppl,i will ask u to teach him/her,i dun wanna teach.Bt,i hav nv tink tat u will leave the co. so early,and...i hav to teach tat gal lik hw u used to teach me,and u noe..i realise tat it's nt an easy task,cos...i hav so much things to do,and i will scare she will do it wrongly,i start to tink back..why would u dare to let me try out everything u noe,and u actually teach me wif all the things before u get ur things done,dunno hw to say...bt the feeling without u in the co. is juz..blank?Nt mind,bt heart..it was so wrong.I noe it,bt..hw?My mind juz fill wif the days when u are around.And for nw,i feel the pressure..i hav to teach the new gal,i hav to do all the daily routine,and...i hav to learn the new things.Is tat life?Will thr be better job outside?Or tis is the basic thing every job requested for.Without u...can i survive in the co.?
I am tired and lazy
to carry on everything nw...
8:39 PM
